Saturday, March 21, 2015

On After Dark



I’ll make this quick.  It’s a fucking awful pseudo-intellectual movie.  The thought experiments aren’t novel or even thought provoking.  I could’ve thought of them when I was in middle school – and that’s not being hyperbolic or exaggerating.  First off, the philosophy teacher is a pompous goon; how any of them liked him before this last session of class is beyond me.  He fetishizes pure “logic” without ever saying anything that seems profoundly rational he might as well be an Objectivist.  Also, like any other petty Egoist who speaks in  grandiose fashion, he’s little more than a sore loser.  Oh, you won’t let me into the bunker?  Surprise!  You needed me (in a entirely contrived and unrealistic way) to get out all-along. Oh, you won’t let me rape you?  Surprise!  I’ll just kill you all out of bitterness. 
For such a noble thinker, the asshole seems to ultimately say nothing but might-makes-right.  He’s the teacher, so he can make whatever convoluted meaningless experiment he wants, and if you don’t like it he’ll drop your grade for not putting up with his Armageddon fetish.  And the idea that the philosophy professor would fail his shining pupil all-because she has  fucking heart (or just wants to piss him off, and honestly I would be doing the exact same thing for that reason) is almost as absurd as the plot for God’s Not Dead.  God, are we going to get any movies with smart and relatable college professors other than Good Will Hunting?  Also the idea that people with IQs of 200 couldn’t learn “practical” skills and learn to grow some fucking corn or open up a coconut is beyond ridiculous.
If you couldn’t figure out that the teacher was either fucking the blonde or just wanted to sabotage the Arian kid so he could potentially fuck the blonde (which if memory serves was my guess because this guy seemed too pathetic to actually get any of that) than you don’t know a thing about poorly written movies.  Yes, who could figure that mystery out – who could?  And the fact that they revealed it at the end as if it was some big surprise shows what these “great philosophers” who wrote this think of the average movie goer, or even worse, average hipster who watches all this poorly made independent garbage.  The movie is a piece of trash.  Anyone who thinks this movie is an accurate depiction of genuine philosophic notions or discussion should just stick to reading quick pithy statements by Nietzsche and Atlas Shrugged. 
Though I should quickly add that Chip’s thought experiment and reasoning was hysterical and worth watching.  Just know what I told you about the movie (it’s more amusing once you sat through an hour and a half of bullshit, but maybe simply know the rest of the movie sucked will make it better as well) and watch it.  Goddamn it, Chips, I fucking love you.
Also now I remember where I saw the blonde.  In Lovely Bones (or whatever it’s called).  It seems she cannot catch a break in getting into anything worth half a gorilla shit.

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