Sunday, September 20, 2015

I Could've...

I could've been born a slave.
I could've been born a beggar.
I could've been born a fifteenth century peasant.
I could've been born an idiot of the twentieth century.
I could've been born without legs.
I could've been born with my heart outside my chest.
I could've been born a frog or dog or alligator.
Or an alien on another world.
I could've been born another plain dullard whose life is another number.
I could've been born a lot of things but I wasn't any of them which I'm not.
Or wasn't.
Or will never be.
All I will ever be is what I was, am and will be.
I don't know who I'll be tomorrow, and I can't even remember with clarity who I was.
I'm not even entirely sure who I am.

But here are a few.
I'm an egotistical anti-egoist.
Someone who realizes he has a moral duty that he falls short of every day.
Someone who takes walks at 4 AM.
And thanks whatever attributable that I'm not some average person in there beds asleep.
Only to arise to their waking sleep and go to their jobs and back home to their wives.
All trapped in their meaningless empty shell of lives.
Someone who feels that though life has not "purpose" that he was born capable truly of having a life of greatness and meaning and beauty.

See what I mean about being egotistical?

I'll really miss the empty streets of my small town at night.  But all things have to change.  And I know I need to fulfill my potential elsewhere.  Most of the people here are dead.  Though I'm not sure if it's any different anywhere else.  We'll just have to wait and see.

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