Chasing Amy is a film that depicts the egotistical and insecure aspects of romance. Needing to be needed, needing to feel special and unique. It is a pessimistic film, because it portrays the truth that people cannot help but feel how they feel, despite its irrationality or their realization that it is irrational. The Stoics are wrong to say that reason is a constant (or even frequent) and potent form of solace to the turbulent tides of the passions. Spinoza believed that only a stronger passion could defeat the passions, and though this isn’t entirely accurate, though it appears that reasoning can alter, at-least at-times how we feel, in general it is true that the respite of reason is not absolute.
It is a film that shows the non-sexual elements of romance. And how sex in a relationship (or in general) often has non-lust components of gratifying the ego. It depicts two people who want to feel completed by each other, but one cannot come to terms with the other’s path, and the other cannot come to terms with the fact that the other cannot get past it. Both are bruised by the realities of the other, destroying the illusion that what that person was “in essence” was someone that grounded the other person. In this existence, which is meaningless and doesn’t care for the lives of humans, all human beings feel the need to be “grounded” in something. Another person, a cause, their religion, something has to give that person a sense of stability and meaning that simply not being in pain does not give them; only the comfort of accepting (though it is not natural, particularly for some) Existential Nihilism and Negative Utilitarianism is absolute however. Death is final and gives us the solace of non-existence.
Life is to be enjoyed and most importantly used to stave off the horrors of physical and psychological pain for ourselves and others. Romance produces often more pain than pleasure but since we cannot help but want another, we must (if we truly must) be sensible and play this ridiculous game without expectations nor reservations. We must live the absurd life acknowledging its futility but living it nonetheless.