Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Holy Religious Allegory Batman!

I saw Batman V Superman (what is this a court case?  Actually that’d be a lot more interesting) a few hours ago and I have to say despite its shitty story I enjoyed it.
First off, I don’t know why they made Batman a borderline Alex Jones NWO nut.  He has dreams about Superman taking over the world and he is suspicious of him from the get-go while not being concerned about Lex at-all.  So the genius crime fighter whose supposed to be the world’s greatest detective sees Superman as a likely (he reasons that if there’s a one percent chance that Superman could “go rogue” or act malevolently then it’s absolute certainty – he actually uses those words) threat to Mankind but doesn’t see the crazy guy who routinely refers to Superman as God?  Real subtle by the way movie, though Man of Steel (MoS) was thick with the religious metaphors, so I guess it’s a tradition now with these films.  Also it was an interesting choice to make Lex crazy and paranoid (which is why Batman didn’t need to be – Lex already filled that role) instead of a greedy Capitalist megalomaniac which is what is character is without any alterations.
They really laid it on thick with Lex having a “village atheist” complex of hating Superman because he cannot handle a supremely good being existing if he suffered.  He is right that suffering cannot exist if God is both all-good and all-powerful, but he then jumps to the conclusion then that God is not good or is evil.  But God could just be all-good and not be all-powerful, right?  Like Superman is conceptually.  So why would it be reasonable to hate him then?  I think there are major ethical problems with every religions interpretation of a God, believe me, but it doesn’t follow that just because there is suffering and a hypothetical God that the hypothetical God is automatically to blame or deserves blame.
They really fucked up Batman in this one.  They didn’t give any good reason at-all that he hates Superman – except maybe like Lex he hates that his parents died and Superman couldn’t save them?  You might not think that, but he mentions it in the oddest place and way in the movie.  Saying, “If I wanted the world to make sense I had to make it.”  So you’re killing Superman so the Universe will make sense?  How is killing a good person sensible?  Also more importantly how does it have anything to do with ethics?  That is why it is good or bad to kill Superman?  They should’ve had Lex manipulate and trick Batman into hating/taking violent action against Superman but that would require an understanding of deception and cunning and I guess the film wasn’t going for that – let’s just have the villain cry about how he hates God instead.  Because if you’re a bad person it’s just because you’re not right with God right?  Honestly, what is this, God’s Not Dead?
Also, why the fuck wouldn’t Superman just tell Batman his mom’s in trouble from the beginning?  Yes, I’m dying, but in my last breath I’ll tell you that there’s this woman you don’t know about that’s in trouble – as a hero you should be more concerned about that woman or any hypothetical man, woman or child being harmed rather than trying to kill Superman because you’re afraid of his potential.  I understand that like it is wise for the police to have weapons that can debilitate those who would harm others if they need them, it’s safe and reasonable for the Government (or some trustworthy person or agency) to have a weapon to stop Superman if they needed to.  But so many of the characters treat Superman like he raped their child and I’m just sitting in the theater thinking, “what the fuck did he do!”  I can understand Lex and some assholes hating Superman, but it’s almost as if they were planning on some elaborate plan Lex had (not the shitty one where he blows up Congress and somehow because Superman’s standing there he’s to blame – I’m not kidding) had for making everyone hate Superman and decided not to shoot it because they were running late and the director’s kid had a play he promised he’d be at.
The plot is absolute garbage until the last third; the stuff with Doomsday is pretty great and should’ve been more of the movie in preparation.  Unfortunately it was called Batman v Superman so they had to spend most of the movie building up to that (which they didn’t even really do – not in any legitimate way anyway) rather than focus on where the story could’ve excelled.  Of course they could’ve had a great story of Batman and Superman being against each other (like in Red Son or The Dark Knight Returns) but again, I guess they weren’t going for that.

All things considered it’s passable.  I wouldn’t call it great by any stretch, but entertainment wise it’s about a B- and plot is a D.  I’d recommend seeing it on discount night in theaters if you like these kind of movies.  And regarding Affleck as Batman:  I never gave a shit and I still don’t.  I did see him as Ben Affleck a few times but otherwise I just saw a passable Batman performance.  Honestly Batman’s a character that I’ve never seen an actor do a spot-on impression of if that’s even possible.  The closest thing is Kevin Conroy (I think that’s his name) in the Batman Animated Series.  And he’s not bitter at the world for taking his parents away, so he’s not cool enough to be a contemporary Batman.  You gotta have a raspy voice, like Batman just sucked a carton of Menthol’s, if you wanna be cool bro.

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